It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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