i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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