Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
