some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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