you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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