i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
