I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you never un-have a 4some
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
