I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just googled if crying burns calories
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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