Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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