I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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