...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
