you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
