You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He has the fingertips of a God
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize