Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
