Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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