How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
