Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
