Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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