I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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