When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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