Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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