people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
