What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
