every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
