I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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