Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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