Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
