You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
