I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
