She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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