I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
