yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
