I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize