and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
