She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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