I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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