super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
