how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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