I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
