I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
