Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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