trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
