oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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