ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
