ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
