Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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