I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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