we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
