Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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