Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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