You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
nutella sex= disaster
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
