At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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