Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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