So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
