Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
