I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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