i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
