one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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