You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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