good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He passed out mid-signature
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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