Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
