dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
