is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize