i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
there's paper in my vomit.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
