so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
