But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize