Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
