A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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