Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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